i just want to know when exactly did winning and losing become a taboo? and who decided that is was not good for children to experience "losing"? i bet it was some parent who's kid kept losing and they couldn't handle the crying, because they always "let" them win at home. now that we have entered into the world of youth sports, i get very frustrated when the score is not kept (well, at least not officially, because seriously what kid doesn't keep score?), and when everyone's a "winner".
most of the sports teams i played on were not top notch. yes we won sometimes, but i really wasn't ever a part of a championship team per say (maybe swimming, but i was always personally a 3rd placer). my self esteem is still in tact. i still feel value as a person. i learned how to handle frustration and disappointment. because guess what? NOT everyone is a winner, and there will always be a loser, in almost EVERY aspect of life. and guess what else? it's NOT always fair, and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. why is it such a social faux paux to teach our children this!?!
well, i am standing up and we are keeping score. that's right, we know who won. that's right, we cheer when our kids score, or make some spectacular (even some not so spectacular) plays. loud. it is blowing my mind at how some parents don't cheer their kids on. come on people, yes it might sound obnoxious and slightly embarrassing (for the child), but i think there is a little hidden feel good in knowing that you have fans. someone whose got your back, and is proud of you, no matter how you play. maybe we just haven't hit the right age group yet, i know for a fact high school parents cheer.
i love how we have to sign parental waivers that say we will, "conduct in a sportsmanship like manner". in our community your child will no longer be allowed to play sports if we as parents break the "sportsmanship like manner" rule. wow. does that include cheering for 5 year olds? maybe people feel like if they start cheering they might lose control and cuss out the ref and throw a lawn chair, and get in a fight in the parking lot or something. (i know that is why we have to sign it, because that's what some psycho parents do, obviously they were not taught how to lose properly) i will try to hold myself together, i signed my john hancock that said i will. even if the boys participate on a team that has their fair share of losing, or winning for that matter, i still think i can deal with it. shouldn't we be teaching our kids to deal with it too??
we play lots of games in our house. lots of sports, but also a lot of board and card games. despite the amount of game playing that goes on, my boys still cannot handle losing. they are ALL VERY competitive (not sure where that came from ha- both sides of course!). i actually dread playing board games because it usually ends in tears and gnashing of teeth. BUT, they have to learn to be good sports, they have to learn how to win humbly, and how to lose gracefully. shouldn't that be taught in the home? it's part of my responsibility as a parent to teach them how to handle these kinds of situations. winning and losing is something we all have to experience. and sometimes it's not fair, and sometimes you don't get dealt the right cards. throw that concept into any situation we have to face as adults. work, check, relationships, check, stock market (ha), check, driving, check, check. even though emotions run high, these boys have to learn to deal. take a deep breath and work it out.
so far, well i know my children are still very little, (now i will brag on my kids a lot) our boys have excelled in every sport they have played. i mean, they are coordinated, tenacious, fast, and exciting to watch. i tell you what, they are winners! ha ha. they dominate, jon and i get so excited and giddy about how athletic they ALL are. even the baby (well 19 month old) can dribble a soccer ball down and shoot, shoot a hockey puck and hit a baseball off a tee. amazing! so fun. (this may not always be the case, i am more than able to except this, and in no way shape or form will i push athletics on them for scholarships or if they no longer find joy in a particular sport.) even though the teams they have played on thus far, have not always won games, we cannot be more proud of how our kids play. and they have to deal with the emotions of winning and losing. who doesn't want to win?? who wants to lose?? facts of life. we should not be robbing future generations of learning such a valuable lesson in life.
